Movie Goer Gets Surprise of her Life

According to recent research done by our elite news team, Channel 11 News has concluded that T. David Clark of Arizona has been positively confirmed to have the smallest penis in the world.

The discovery was made by a horrified Valley woman who, thinking she was reaching for a Swedish Fish during a recent movie date with Mr. Clark, mistakenly grabbed onto what she described as a "stale one."

Upon further investigation, we have discovered that Mr. Clark's tiny member has been mistaken for other snacks in recent years - a Jolly Rancher, a Combo, and even a discarded Tootsie Roll.

T. David Clark declined comment when we approached him, but the fact remains: Swedish Fish or Swedish Dick? You decide.

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